The show is back on, folks!
Welcome to the first post-COVID return of Queer Dog Comedy Night at The Vicious Poodle, presented and hosted by the dazzling Zane Oak. "We have a great lineup, four female-identifying comedians tonight. It is our first show back. An hour show, 10 minutes each." The lineup was limited to four comedians due to the current restrictions.
Emily Wood, professional curler extraordinaire and local thespian, warmed up the room right away. She's been living in Victoria for almost a year. "When do you become a local in Victoria? Is it when you become really good at paddleboarding? I dunno. I think I became a local when I got *blanked* in the curling club." Immediately my Cancerian cackle cries out in astonished maniacal giggles. "It was in that moment that I made it!" she exclaims.
Focusing on the subject of loneliness, Wood shared how she relocated to Victoria within the pandemic into a nice, quaint, study apartment. "I thought it was a good idea to move in alone. Uhm, no, I am already so alone, I did not need to add to that."
While spending the past four years in the United Kingdom studying comedy, she became the queen of punchlines. Punchlines that have no thread to get to them. She read us a few. My favourite being "pumpkin spice pussy." She left us by asking us to contact her if we could think of jokes that ended in her random punchlines.
Next up was the depressingly delicious Lucia Ribeiro, who started off the act talking with a mask before revealing her fabulous face to us. Her act was a riot, especially when she concluded with a song about popping the pimples around her pussy. It was literally the best thing I have ever heard … end of story.
The fabulous Zane ran excitedly around the room lugging the donation pitcher with them because the show itself was free, donate-what-you-can sort of deal, which segwayed nicely as a halftime show leading into the third act, Carilynn Nicholson.
The alleged great-granddaughter of Sir Jack Nicholson from "The Shining," Carilynn really brought out the 'Here's Johnny' on stage. With truly passionate hands, Madame Nicholson floated to and from the edge of the stage, playing perfectly with the plexiglass protective screening. She was quite the sight to see. In her routine, she brought our attention to an apparent sexist report by the World Health Organization that a woman's maximum drink capacity for alcohol is 8 glasses per week. Making all of us alcoholics at this point.
Lastly was the wild flying Dutchwoman, Julya Van Der Sloot. "I have the worst name for spelling," laughs Sloot. "I started doing comedy on a gap year between high school and college and then just never stopped." Starting her routine, Sloot introduced a ghost into the picture, titled "Ghost Landing" – in which she full out had a sexual relationship with Madame Marie Curie, beakers falling out of her pockets and all. Unfortunately, by the end of the segment, Madame Curie had ended the relationship with Sloot.
Overall, the house was full, the drinks were being poured, and the smiles were being had. The laughter was laughed, and it was a grand old gay time.
Please come check out The Vicious Poodle next Monday for another comedy show during VICTORIA PRIDE 2021 FESTIVITIES.
Dov Adelman is a nonbinary artist originally from Montreal. Working in property management, Dov is a self-made artist, videographer and chronicler of cultures.
(Image Credit: David Adelman)